.Publisher's Note: The observing is the message of a character coming from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reviewing the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed very much about specifics of this particular objective during the month I've been right here, primarily for 2 main reasons: the initial being that there has been actually really little bit of opportunity to accomplish that sort of composing, as well as second of all because I'm uncertain how comfortable I am discussing notions I provide family and friends along with the rest of the globe.Effectively, certainly the planet changed today. What I mention or perform is actually incredibly minor matched up to the significance of what took place to our nation today when it was struck through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we understand, I think. Hard to understand at whom to drive our rage and also concern ...I had merely finished a variety of activities this morning, the best taxing being the physical exams of all staff participants. In an exclusive discussion observing that, the tour cosmetic surgeon informed me they were actually having an incredibly negative time on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He illustrated the scenario to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually overwhelmed, at that point horrified. My initial idea was actually that this had not been a real conversation, that I was actually still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't seem to be possible on this scale in our country. I could not also visualize the particulars, also prior to the news of additional damage began being available in.Vladimir came by rather promptly, sensing that something really major was actually being actually reviewed. I waved Michael in to the component as well. They were likewise impressed as well as stunned. After we authorized off, I attempted to discuss to Vladimir as well as Michael as greatest I can the possible magnitude of this show of horror in downtown New york as well as at the Pentagon. They clearly knew and were actually quite supportive.I glanced at the World Chart on the computer system to observe where over the planet we were and saw that our experts were actually coming southeast away from Canada and also will be actually skipping New England in a few minutes. I zipped around the terminal up until I discovered a window that will offer me a viewpoint of New York City and grabbed the nearest video camera. It occurred to become a camera, and I was actually appearing southern from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to have a strange blossom to it at the base of the column that was actually streaming south of the city. After checking out among the newspaper article we simply received, I feel our experts were actually looking at NY around the amount of time of, or soon after, the collapse of the 2nd tower. How dreadful ...I swept the electronic camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to observe if I could see every other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing at all was visible.It was pretty hard to consider job after that, though our experts had some to accomplish, yet on the upcoming track our company moved across the US further southern. All 3 people were working a couple of video cameras to try to receive perspectives of Nyc or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, but no particular resource might be viewed. Everything looked extraordinary coming from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't picture the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Aside from the psychological impact of our country being actually attacked as well as 1000s of our citizens and also perhaps some pals being eliminated, the most overwhelming emotion being where I am actually is among isolation.Following day ... I guess the tiredness as well as emotional tension received the most ideal of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to write. Today was actually still challenging, yet our experts started obtaining even more information, plus we had the tribute of talking straight along with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that assured us that the ground crews would certainly continue to operate and also ensure our protection, in addition to the risk-free operation of the Place. Our experts additionally spoke with our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the companions in the Course are actually all entirely dedicated to continuing secure procedures as well as support. These were certainly never questions for me. I know all these folks! The ground groups have been incredibly helpful, very understanding of the influence of the news, and have actually attempted to become as helpful as feasible. They have actually all been extremely expert as well as concentrated though I can't picture the disturbance of the kind of news coming in and also the notion that government buildings may be in jeopardy. They never ever bypassed a beat, even when moving nerve center. As well as a group of senior staffs and good friends offered our company a quite complete rundown on what was actually understood and what was being actually carried out in the authorities and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually quite handy and type of them to carry out in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has also been actually supportive as well as helpful, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our personal assets were actually inoperable, as well as stating kind words ...My crewmates have been terrific, also. They know it is actually been actually a difficult day for me and also the people on the ground, and they've attempted to become as also keeled as well as beneficial as achievable. Michael also fixed me my favored Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they offer me lots of space to assume when I needed it. They are very sympathetic and of course shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize many people in Washington, many individuals who journey to DC and also NYC, a lot of that are captains, that I felt certain I would certainly get at the very least a few pieces of problem over the following couple of times. I received the initial one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that reached the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic throughout plebe summertime when we remained in the D&B together, and also our experts had tons of courses together. I can't envision what he has to of undergone, as well as now I hear that he may possess climbed even further than our company can easily also think of by potentially preventing his aircraft from being the one to tackle the White Residence. What a dreadful reduction, but I'm sure Chic was actually dealing with fearlessly to the end. As well as tears don't circulate the very same in space ...It's challenging to define how it experiences to become the only American fully off the planet each time like this. The sensation that I ought to exist along with each one of you, dealing with this, aiding in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I understand that we get on the threshold (or past) of a horrible shift in the background of the planet. Lots of things will certainly certainly never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the manies thousand and hundreds of people directly influenced through these horrendous process of terrorism, however probably for all of us. Our team will definitely find our own selves feeling in different ways concerning dozens of factors, consisting of most likely area exploration, regrettably.It's horrendous to observe smoke cigarettes pouring from wounds in your own nation from such a great viewpoint. The duality of being on a space probe committed to improving everyday life on the earth as well as seeing life being actually destroyed by such witting, horrible process is actually jolting to the mind, despite who you are. As well as the understanding that everything are going to be different than when our experts released by the opportunity our experts land is a little disconcerting. I believe in our nation and in our management that we are going to do whatever feasible to far better guard her as well as our families, and to carry justice for what has actually been carried out. I possess assurance that the great individuals at NASA will definitely perform everything required to continue our objective safely and also return our company carefully at the correct time. As well as I miss out on each of you very much. I can not exist with you personally, and we have a very long way to head to accomplish our objective, yet be actually certain that my heart is along with you, and also know you reside in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Thankfully, it's been a busy week up below. As well as to confirm that, like our nation, our team are actually continuing on our planned pathway with business as usual (as much as possible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock with our team, at a slot never ever utilized prior to on the nadir edge of the Solution Component. This brand new component is going to offer our team an additional area to dock a Development or even Soyuz and will certainly supply a large airlock with pair of able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our experts will perform a few of just before our team return.The trouble before in dealing with today was inadequate information. The concern now is actually a lot of. It came all at once when email was rejuvenated, and there's inadequate time to read all of it! Plus it is actually too difficult to manage all of it simultaneously. But I enjoy getting it, and also I definitely appreciate the excellent characters of help and friendly relationship I am actually getting.Our experts are doing well on board, getting our job done, as well as speaking about traits. Final night our company possessed a lengthy conversation over supper concerning the value of these events, the possible activities to adhere to, and also what must be actually done. After dinner, Michael resolved informing me that every email he acquired from close friends in Russia said exclusively to tell me exactly how regretful they were that this occurred, stretching their condolences, and also talking to how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir educated me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are much extremely long to articulate conveniently.) Extremely kind individuals.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transmit live shows of broadcast information about the event as well as linked stories, to make certain I was well notified. Every professional who has begun free throw line to talk about a treatment or even a complication has at some point expanded greetings to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that because of the special day of recognition in the United States, all day people had actually been actually taking blossoms and lining all the walls of the US embassy in Moscow, and this night they were igniting candle lights in the road outside the consular office. How the world has altered.People everywhere appear to acknowledge the senselessness and also horror within this assault. And the significant loss. Moscow has managed these sort of concerns in the final couple of years along with flat and also train battles, so they are actually as distressed to do away with this danger as our company are. But the bottom series is that there are great folks anywhere that want to live in calmness. I read through that a kid talked to, "America is actually thus good to various other countries, our company consistently help everyone, just how can they detest our team a great deal?".I wish the instance of cooperation and trust that this spacecraft plus all people in the course display daily are going to sooner or later influence the rest of the world to operate similarly. They must!However, our company won't be taking flight over the US during the time folks are actually igniting candles. Don't know if we can see that anyway. Our company did, having said that, view an extremely unusual and gorgeous sight a few moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. We were overtaking it and it emerged regarding 3 minutes after its launch from Baikonur as the sunlight reached our station, so it was actually still in the dark. It looked like a large comet with a straight, broad rear silhouetted against the black earth beneath. In spite of some poor lighting for some time as the sunshine reached our home window at a reduced viewpoint, I handled some online video of it as to begin with our experts passed the rocket, and after that watched it start to mesmerize as it got altitude and velocity. I recorded up until principal motor deadline as well as booster splitting up took place just like we moved toward sunrise on the Mountain ranges. A memorable sight in a remarkable full week ...Life happens, also in space. We are actually here to remain ... Frank.